FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize