then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
