she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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