How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
