the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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