My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
