the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
