Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize