You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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