you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
