Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize