im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
