Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
