yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize