scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
