HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
