He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
