I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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