So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
