I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
