blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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