yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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