I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
