peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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