I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
