You just made me feel so damn special
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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