the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
