Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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