Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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