I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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