the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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