Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
this will be a night to untag.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
