Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
