So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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