I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
