Kiss
Puke
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
