I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When are your genitals available?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
