I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
