my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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