my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize