i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
