no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
