i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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