She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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