jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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