Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize