Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
