my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize