Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
