Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
