You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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