she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
