I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
