Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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