Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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