yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
