she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
