so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize