a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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