shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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