so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The air taste purple.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
