he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
only if we run a train.
done.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
