Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
