can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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