Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
